Archive | August, 2013

Chennai Express- A pointless journey!

17 Aug

This is a train journey with a few laughs, lots of stereotypes and several clichés. It does make you laugh, don’t get me wrong, but it’s one of those tried and tested things or it is the sheer stupidity that Rohit Shetty and his team seem to be intent on displaying.

There is nothing new here, unless of course you count the fact that Shah Rukh Khan looks his age (almost!) and is honest about it. (At least in the beginning of the movie. He goes on to do cartwheels and stunts on his bike later, but you should know by now that Bollywood stars just develop these super awesome skills halfway into the movie)

Rohit Shetty seems to be under a serious misconception that people in South India belong to one huge state. But then again, his films are synonymous with mindless entertainment and superficiality, so one can’t complain about his lack of knowledge. I don’t know why he made this movie, but national integration was not the point. (Clearly!)

Deepika Padukone looks beautiful in white, divine almost, but she really needs to be taught how to wear a half-saree. She speaks awful Hindi but speaks superlatively worse Tamil for a girl who has been born and brought up in Tamil Nadu. (One of the reasons why I wanted to walk out of the theater.)

So, the storyline is tame- boy longs for adventure, but he doesn’t get the chance. He runs off to have fun, meets girl, fights and disagrees with her, saves her skin and his with several goons 3 times his size chasing them all over the place. He has an epiphany in the middle and realizes his louve and so he mans up, fights, bleeds and wins over his prospective father-in-law (Quite literally).

Thambi, Tamil cinema may not have come such a long way from the past, in a lot of aspects, but our villains are so much more cooler now. Have you seen Prakash Raj? And we don’t use an aruvaal every two seconds. And not all of the villain’s minions are big, black and hairy. (Not to mention easily a foot over SRK.)

There was this one scene that made me laugh at its sheer stupidity. A boat carrying diesel is being shot at by the coast guard because they suspect smugglers to be aboard. But to be fair, they start shooting only after the smugglers start shooting.

I’d think one of the basic things you learn in coast guard training would be to not shoot when there are flammable substances around.

Actors like Sathyaraj, Delhi Ganesh are wasted in this movie, with no role, at all. You know that SRK is gonna beat the goons, it’s just a matter of time, so you stifle a yawn and resist the urge to look at your watch because you know the movie will be over in a few minutes as SRK is fighting.

And Lungi dance for Rajnikanth? The guy is practically a phenomenon down South and you dedicate something like lungi to that guy? Like, seriously? I walked out after 15 seconds of that song. The only reason I even sat through the entire movie was because I had very good company and we kept ribbing the movie.

Shetty has tried some sort of tribute to Rajnikanth, but it comes off as stupid and crass and hits the proverbial bottom of the bottomless class.

The songs seem pointless except for one or at the most 2 (completely excluding the Lungi Dance). They seem to be introduced at random points in the movie, just to make it longer. I tuned out the songs and just focused on the cinematography. If there were people dancing, I looked around in the theater.

Cinematography is brilliance itself. Beautiful, breath-taking visuals. Kudos to the camera man, Mr. Dudley! (It is pretty much the saving grace of the film.)

This movie also manages to commercialize the institution of marriage and death. While we are at it, Shetty has inserted iconic scenes from several popular movies as well. I’m not sure how far that works, because people who know both Hindi and Tamil and are watching the movie are very few. People who know both Hindi and Tamil and are watching the movie and have watched all the movies you have taken scenes from is even smaller.

The climax, is at its comical best. SRK asks Sathyaraj if there will be a father like him. Kudos to his Tamil. I don’t think any Tamilian can speak with such innate grace and sense.

Note to self- Refer to SRK’s bokwaas dictionary, to make sense of what he speaks.

The thing is, this movie doesn’t really belong to either Bollywood or Kollywood. It’s just there, somewhere.

Watch it if you don’t get tickets to any other movie and you are in the mood to give your brain a rest and not see any semblance of logic or sense or honest representations of the state you grew up in or a state that is part of your country and not mind Deepika give her best shot at destroying Tamil and Hindi, with SRK giving her an awesome boost with the former.

Every stupid stereotype associated with Tamilians, with Chennai is evident in this movie. I have no idea how it grossed so much at the box office.

Despite the fact that it is a Rohit Shetty film I’d expect a decent amount of research to be done before they make up shit and call it a movie.

P.S. People from Tamil Nadu don’t have that awful accent while they speak Hindi or Tamil. (For instance, yours truly) Neither do they roll the words in their tongue to deliver them incomprehensible and completely meaningless. Tamil is one of the most beautiful languages I know. It’s poetry in prose and Rohit Shetty, ably assisted by Deepika and SRK, has successfully destroyed that in 141 minutes.

P.P.S. I hope Vairamuthu never sees this movie.

P.P.P.S It is a like an avial made from Jab we Met, Ghilli, Muthu and several other Tamil movies that leaves a horrible after taste in your mouth.

I almost have half a mind to make a short film completely massacring Hindi and sending it to Rohit Shetty as a birthday gift.

Major doubt-  Nobody (SRK, Deepika, Tingu- D’s supposed fiance) knows Tamil. So, why not choose people who know better Tamil or would at least attempt to learn it before they decide to speak what they think is right?

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© My Rickety Typewriter, 2013.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Vintage Ink and My Rickety Typewriter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Free Fall

4 Aug

 

Gravity holding me strong,
Feet on terra firma,
I walk towards the precipice,

The view so great,
Far beyond the reaches of the eye,
The pull so strong,

To say yes,
To come home to you,
To be yours for the world to see,

Yet, I can’t,
For where one man’s faith begins,
Another man’s ends.

That last leap,
So effortless and yet, so wide,
Why won’t you let me jump, you ask?

For if I let you defy gravity,
It ceases to be reality,

Because you are here,
With me on the this side,
In thoughts and there in person,

A memory to cherish,
A hug to remember,
A smile to treasure.

The wind is like a caress, initially,
Makes me want to open my arms and fall headlong,
With the water spraying on my face,

It then rises to a roar, drawing me in,
It’s passionate intensity,
Making me feel alive,

Intoxicating me by its mere presence,
Making me want to surrender,
And simply fall,

Ironically, you are holding me back,
From giving in and yet,
You are the reason I’m falling,

I see myself at the edge,
Poised to fall, at the slightest breeze..

I wonder,
In stopping you from leaping,
Have I gone across to you?

Or have I fallen already?

© My Rickety Typewriter, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Vintage Ink and My Rickety Typewriter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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